Chapter 5 of Lady Goes Walkabout

 Chapter 1, click here.

In case you haven't figured this out, her life is my daydream life :)

Day 26

This morning while drinking my coffee I looked in my book and I couldn’t find a single campground within 10 – 15 miles of the spot I slept in last night.  I could either walk back to the town that had my car, or just walk forward and see where I end up.  Looking at the map I drew a kind of triangle, connecting the campground to the car and adding a third point about 10 miles away.  Then I packed up and just started walking. My heart raced with the distance I was putting between myself and the campground, the car, and all that represented safety.  Even so, I walked.  I walked along a dusty and empty road.  It was a beautiful day, with a few clouds and breezes, but no threat of rain.  I came to a small town and stopped in a city park to rest.  A family was enjoying the pretty day, a father and mother and two small children.  They looked at me, but didn’t seem bothered.  I pulled out my lunch, and pulled off my shoes.  I ate and leaned back on the grass.  After a while the father walked over to me.  

“Howdy,”  he smiled, “my wife and I were wondering if you were lost.  If you need help?”

I was a little embarrassed, I am sure I had a bit of a homeless look to me.

“No, I am fine.  I am walking, out exploring the country.”

He nodded.  “I have read about a few people doing that.  Are you crossing the entire country?  Where did you start?”

I really wished I could say I had walked from Georgia, but I told him my true story.  His wife came over and the three of us sat in the grass watching the children and visiting.  They seemed impressed.  

“I think I would be scared,” the wife said, “but at the same time it sounds like you are having quite an adventure.  You should take pictures and write a blog.”

“I have a blog, not sure how good it is though.”  I shared my website, and we exchanged email addresses..  They gathered the children and loaded them into their car.  “Have a wonderful trip!”  The wife walked back to me and handed me a small bag.  “This is for you.  I am sure you will enjoy it better than us.”

I waved goodbye to them.  Meeting people was a surprising but fun part of this trip.  I looked in the bag.  It was full of snacks, probably gathered to keep the kids happy in the car.  I ate the animal crackers right away, and the candy bar.  I put the fruit roll ups and the fruit drinks in my pack for later.  At the bottom of the bag, wrinkled up, was a piece of paper.  I opened the paper to find a $20 bill and a note.
            “Enjoy the walk, and have a pizza on us when you get the chance.”

Day 27

After the lunch in the park I walked farther into the country.  As the evening came on I started thinking about where to sleep.  Could I just set up my tent in a field by the road?  What if the field belonged to someone and he came along, upset with me.  Or, what if a policeman thought I was homeless and arrested me.  Would they arrest me?  I had no idea.  I kept walking, and after a while I saw a pretty farm house just off the road.  My heart started pounding nervously as I began to have an idea.  I had to sleep somewhere.  I didn’t want it to become dark while I just wandered.  I took off my pack, ran my hands through my hair as if that would help, and walked up to the front door.  After I knocked an older lady opened the door.  I smiled, tried to look harmless, and asked her if it would be OK to camp in the field down the road from her house.  I told her I was walking and camping across the state, and that at times no campground was nearby when I needed it.  I told her I would keep the area clean, and be out walking early the next morning.

She just looked at me, looked out at my pack, and then looked back at me again.  After a moment of hesitation she agreed. 

“We own all this land on this side of the road, so if you want to camp over by that large tree, I bet that would be a nice spot.  Just don’t make a mess.”

I thanked her over and over.  She offered to refill all my water bottles, and again I thanked her.  Then I walked over to the spot she showed me, under a nice wide tree.  I set up the tent and ate a big but cold dinner.  I sat under the tree and read a while, then wrote here.  Now I am going to sleep, very tired and sore.  This has been fun, and I am not sure I want my car back.  My feet, though, they might be ready for the car.

Day 28

I am back in the town and my car is working again.  I checked into a hotel and took my first shower in several days.  Now I am sitting on the porch of the hotel, looking out over the highway and writing.  Yesterday was magical.  I woke up early, like always, and packed up my gear.  I double-checked all around the tree to make sure it was clean. Since this was farmland, I was wondering where I could go to the bathroom, without causing any trouble.  During the night I had just peed near the tree, no mess, and no witnesses.  Now the sun was up.  I looked nervously over at the house, and noticed the lady standing on the porch.  She was looking my way, and when we met eyes she called out,  “Hey, walking lady, come here a minute.”

I walked back to the house.  The owner, a much older lady, had fixed a large breakfast for me, and brought it out to her porch on a tray.  She and I sat on the porch eating scrambled eggs, bacon, toast with home canned jelly, and drank orange juice.  It was the best breakfast I had ever had, much better than the fruit roll ups I had eaten earlier that morning.  She was friendly, and asked a lot of questions about my adventure.  Before I left she sent me inside to use her “real bathroom” as she put it.  I wished I had some gift to give her, but I thanked her over and over.  

I walked all day.  Before lunch it started raining, and I had to eat a soggy sandwich under a tree.  I put on my raincoat, but it was a hot day, and I quickly sweated and felt as wet as the rain.  The walk started off poorly.  I trudged along the side of the road, watching the raindrops bouncing off the dust and grass.  After a few minutes I discovered that watching the rain, feeling the rain, and accepting the rain made for a better mood.  The rain brought out the colors of the landscape, and the grey skies contrasted deeply with the wheat growing all around me.  I walked and soon the road was full of puddles.  I jumped right into the middle of the water, splashing and laughing.  I’m not sure when was the last time I had played in water, or even just laughed so hard.  Finally I just walked on, and now with every step I squished water out of my shoes.  That had been a bad idea, but a fun one.  I stopped and took off my shoes.  In the pack I had sandals, and I switched to that, and walked on.    The rain continued.  I took off my raincoat, and just reveled in the water.  I found myself laughing out loud.  The joy of the moment overcame the discomfort.  A car drove by, slowed down, saw that I was enjoying myself, tapped the horn, waved, and drove on.  Finally the rain stopped, and the water slowly evaporated from the road, the trees, and me.  When I arrived in town I looked a mess.  As I checked into the hotel the receptionist looked at me warily.  She double checked my credit card and conferred with the manager.  I didn’t care, I chatted about my day.  They must have decided I was crazy but since my car was at the local garage I was trustworthy.  Tomorrow I am going to the laundry mat and the library.  I want to get on my blog and change my name to “Walking Lady.”  I liked that.

Day 29

Looking at my blog I see that I have really touched several people struggling with depression.  This is a big topic, and one that seems to affect many.  Why we don’t do more to help these folks, or why do we feel so stigmatized that we don’t ask for help, reach out to those with answers?  I wanted to contact each person that had written to me about his or her depression.  I wanted to send them outside, make them touch trees and point their faces to the sun.  They needed to splash in the water, forget what others think, and find the joy of life.

            I tried to write a message that conveyed that thought.  I wrote about my two day walk without my car, and about how I had felt so helpless at first, and then I realized I was only helpless if I chose to be.  I also wrote about seeking professional help.  After all, my adventure started in a counseling session.  I wonder what that doctor would think of me splashing in mud puddles half a country away.  After that thought, I put my doctors email address in the computer and sent her a link to my blog.  I sent a personal email to each person that had written to me.   

            I spent nearly the entire day in the library, reading other blogs about walking and the healing aspect of nature.  I wondered if I had found something new, but of course many people understood the relationship to mood and the outdoors.  I settled into a comfortable chair with a couple of books and passed the rest of the day immersed in ideas.  Finally the librarian tapped me on the shoulder to let me know it was closing time.  I walked back to the hotel, and sat on my bed.  A hotel can be a dreary place, and usually I have a disconnected feeling when staying in one.  Tonight my head was swimming with possibilities.  

Day 30

            I decided to start driving back towards home.  I wanted to try some kind of walking near the house, maybe walk several days from my home to a hiking trail, and then follow the trail for several days, and after that the fall session of school would be beginning.  I had teaching responsibilities, and of course my last year of graduate school to finish.  I thought about starting a hiking club, or an outdoor club.  It would be aimed at women, because we are less likely to get outside, and more likely to suffer depression.  

While driving back towards and through Texas I tried to imagine how I could use what I had learned.  Even harder, I tried to quantify what I had learned.  I felt like I had grown, and gained in knowledge, but I couldn’t explain in what way.  If I couldn’t verbalize my new ideas, did I really have new ideas?  Maybe it was just a feeling, and feelings just come and go with the wind.

            Still, I felt better and I wasn’t afraid of my feelings anymore.  That had to count for something.  I had learned little things, such as to keep an eye on the gas needle when in Texas.  After pumping gas I pulled out the map and looked for a campground.  I found one outside of Amarillo, and drove on.  

            After setting up my tent I walked, as usual.  I walked around the campsites, and then found a nature trail.  This part of Texas was flat, and the walk was easy.  I passed a group of men also out walking along the trail.  I walked on under some trees, and stopped at the edge of a creek.  The water was shallow, and bugs were skating on the surface.  The men walked by me, and stopped just on the other side of the creek.

            “Howdy ma’am.  Are you enjoying the walk?”  one of the men asked.

            “yes, it is nice out here.”  

            “We are having a campfire at our site tonight, you are welcome to join us.”

            “thanks.”  

            “Are you on your own?”  a different guy asked.

            I hesitated.  How should I answer that?  Of course I am alone, but I was out in the woods, facing 5 guys.  

            The speaker may have noticed my nervousness.  He looked at his friends, and then spoke.  “It doesn’t matter either way, but if you have friends with you, bring them.  If not, come anyway.  We are pretty much inviting all the people that don’t sit inside their campers watching tv.  It is a chance to visit and get to know other outdoorsy people.  Hope to see you later, when it gets dark.  Oh, and bring a chair if you have one.  We are at site number 42.”

            They walked on and after a few minutes I returned to my tent.  I hated that I had felt afraid, but at the same time it was good to be cautious.  

            I ate my meal, and kept an eye on campsite number 42.  They guys started a fire, and pulled out several chairs.  I waited, and after a few minutes a couple walked over and joined them.  Pretty soon the fire was high, and the people were laughing.  Two girls walked over, and after that another couple joined the group.  I picked up my chair.  It was time to get to know new people.

Day 31

            I am glad I walked over and joined the group.  I love traveling alone, and having time with my thoughts, but also I need other people at times.  Everyone I met last night was friendly, and easygoing.  We didn’t have to know names.  We just enjoyed sharing stories and adventures from our travels.  Those poor people thought I was some kind of outdoor maven, when they heard I had walked for 3 days without car or plan.  To me it still sounded sort of crazy, but each person there seemed to love the idea.  I found out from one of the guys that quite a few people have walked across America, and there are several books and blogs about their experiences.  I had new plans for my reading list, and to the amusement of all,  I copied down titles of books, writing by firelight.

            This morning as I was, as usual, enjoying my coffee when one of the guys walked over to my site and sat down at my picnic table.  I was sitting in a camp chair closer to the fire pit, where I could see the sun rise over a grassy field.  He asked if I minded visiting for a few minutes.  They were about to pack up and head off to return to their college classes.  It was the guy that had noticed my hesitation in answering if I was alone or not.  He wanted to apologize for making me feel nervous, and he wanted to tell me a story.  I heated up more water and fixed him a cup of coffee.

            His name is Matt, and his sister is Melissa.  When they were young, maybe 10 and 8, he and Melissa read a book called My Side of the Mountain.  The main character of this book had run away to live on the family mountain.  He fished for food, made acorn pancakes, lived in a tree he had burned out, and hunted with a falcon.  I immediately wrote this book title down with the other books from last night.  Matt laughed and said, “So, are you an English teacher?”

            “Actually I am.’ I replied.

            He continued his story.  He and his sister decided to do the same thing.  They lived in a neighborhood on the edge of undeveloped woods, and after a day of planning they left a note and walked off into the woods to be adventurers.  They had a wonderful day, and spent a very cold but fun night sleeping under the stars.  But, in the morning two very angry parents found the children and brought them home.

            And then Matt came to the point of his story.  His father had taken him aside to talk.  The father told Matt he understood the desire to run off into the woods, and test himself against nature.  He understood the need for adventure.  

“But”, said the dad, “You took your sister with you.  That was very dangerous.  The world is so much more dangerous for girls, and not only should you have not taken her out into the woods, you shouldn’t push her to want to do these things.  For her safety she needs to find other dreams, more appropriate for girls.”

            Matt had felt bad to expose his sister to those undisclosed extra dangers, and he felt bad that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy the outdoors the way he did.  It was several years later before he realized, or thought about the fact that the writer of the book that had caused all that trouble had been a woman.

            I thanked him for sharing.  I asked if his sister still liked the outdoors.  He shrugged a little.  “She gardens, and loves to plant flowers, but she really never wanted to run off into the woods again.” 

            “But,” said Matt, “I am going to tell her about you.  I think she will like to hear about a girl, a lady that walks wherever she wants.”

            “And,” I said, “I am going to teach that book to my students, and when I have a class of younger kids, I will always encourage boys and girls to enjoy the outside.  It may be more dangerous for us girls, but what it comes down to is we have to make a decision.  Do we let fears and what might happen, and could happen decide our future?  I really think I would rather have something bad happen and have lived, than to be safe and hide in my house all the time.  I just had not thought of it that way before.”

            After Matt returned to help his friends pack up their stuff, I pulled out this journal to write.  I have an idea for my graduate studies.  Instead of writing a thesis on something so dull as 19^th century authors, I could study and write about travel writers.  Or maybe books that encourage people to try new things, like the My Side of the Mountain book.  It is something to think about.

Day 32

I am nearly home.  I called the guy that was staying in our house, and he was fine with me returning early. He was tired of being in such a large house all alone anyway.  The roommates were returning in a couple of weeks, and then classes would start right after that.  The guy had found a job that started about the same time, and he would be leaving.  Such is the life of college students, and those that graduate.  People come, and people go.  I set up my tent in the same first campground that I had started in.  This time there was no rain, no snakes washing away, and no strange older couple sleeping in a tent.  This time the campground was full of girl scouts.  I had a great time watching as the girls and the leaders set up camp, chose girls to collect firewood and other girls to start dinner. They were loud, and they ran all over the place, but they were having fun.  After my talk yesterday with Matt, I was pleased to see all these girls taking over the woods.  Once the sun went down, flashlights came out, and I felt like I was surrounded by large bouncing lightning bugs.  One of the leaders came over to apologize to me, and I begged her to not worry, and to let the girls have their fun.  We talked some, and when she learned about my travels she invited me to hang out at their fire.  One girl fixed a S’More for me, and as I ate the melted marshmallow oozing over melted chocolate, I knew I never wanted these adventures to end.  Finally I was tired and had to return to my tent.  I wrote this by flashlight and now I shall sleep.